6/4/2017 0 Comments home boundHome sweet home. Such a beautiful concept that captures the idea of warmth and security our homes bring to us. Home is that place we happened to grow up in, or a location that took gathering of very important people and moments we hold dearly. I love the concept of having a home and I am sure that someday I will be able to build this kind of environment, but right now I know I am not home.
Yes, I am home for the summer. I live in my old room, I have seen friends and family, and I am experiencing home cooked meals rather than dry cereal flakes 24/7. This place is what I am expected to call home; however, it feels more temporary. The feeling os being home is more of a restraint of following things I really want to do and pursuing creativity. You could say that nothing should stop someone from chasing their dreams, but could you really develop all your creative potential when you are drained from influential peoples and taken away from any possible inspiration? How can you grow if you keep going back to a state of childhood and comfort. That is how I currently feel about such home. It brings me back to a worry-free time and it is wonderful...for about two weeks before I realize I have binge-watched Game of Thrones non-stop. There is no shame on coming back home and being pampered, but once you are passed a certain timeline, you are just turning into a mess and not following the next big thing. Currently I feel like a slob, I am not taking my responsibilities as seriously as I should and I have this uncontrollably lazy spirit. It is almost as if I didn't have any aspirations to do anything and I am lacking the motivation I need to move forward with my personal projects. It might be too dramatic and it might be a case only for me. I am really trying to enjoy my time here and it has been fun, but sometimes home is not going to be the same home you always knew. I think my time to start building my own (temporary) home has come. I can start by installing new doors that hold great experiences, building those walls to keep as much lack of motivation outside of my system, and invite the people that I care for and care for me. Sometimes our starting homes are so huge that we don't see how much maintenance must be invested in those places and they end up tearing apart. I rather build a tiny home for the moment. A small place in my mind that will allow me to feel inspired and create, rather than destroy that feeling of warmth, safety, and love. I am moving out soon, I am not sure where or how, but I already have my suitcase...and if I can't build a tiny home yet, at least my 20s is my prime time to adventure out and live in various places.
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